Reevaluating Marital Priorities

In my last blog “Gardening and Marriage”, I discussed how blossom end rot is a term that is not only used for gardening but can also be applied to many marriages. The main thrust in that blog was centered on the mistakes I unknowingly made as I planted my tomato plants, which, in the end, led to a slow death for many of the first fruits for most of those plants. Unfortunately, there are many marriages that are similar to this illustration. The good news is that there is hope for most, if not, all marriages that are struggling.

As a counselor I feel that putting priorities in place is the biggest thing that allows marriages to thrive. One of the main reasons a marriage fails is because people forget to make their spouses their number one priority. Similar to my illustration, one of my top priorities should have been putting lime in the ground which I forgot. This led to missing a vital step in the planting stage. Since there was no lime for the plants, it led to the decay of many of my first tomatoes. Likewise, if our priority is to just be married and not give it our all, this causes us to miss out on the vital things our marriages need.

God states in Deuteronomy 24:5, “When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be liable for any other public duty. He shall be free at home one year to be happy with his wife whom he has taken.” This verse declares that we are to make every effort to ensure our spouses are our number one priority. I can’t help but wonder how different marriages would be if we took this verse of scripture to heart. Maybe for you it is cutting back on your workload to spend more time with your spouse. Maybe it is reevaluating how much time you spend with friends, so you can spend more time with your spouse, or maybe it is time for you to put more of God’s word in your marriage. Whatever the case may be for you and your spouse, take some time out of your busy day today and sit down with each other and ask yourselves, “Do we have our priorities straight in our marriage?”


Written By:

Reid Wood, MA, LPC

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