There is a silent killer among marriages today that few are talking about. Its name is Intimacy Anorexia and it is classified as a sexual addiction. This working paradigm was developed by Dr. Douglas Weiss. He defines intimacy anorexia as “the active withholding of emotional, spiritual, and sexual intimacy from the spouse.” In a marriage the withholding of intimacy in...[ read more ]
Have you ever wondered if you have a sexual addiction? Click the Sexual Addiction Screening Test and take this free screening for yourself. Depending on what you score, you may want to give me a call to talk further about your results and whether treatment is right for you.
As with any addiction there is a cycle the addict is caught in. This blog will simply cover the facts of the sexual addiction cycle. Dr. Patrick Carnes has written a book on this type addiction cycle called Out of the Shadows. In his book he states, “For sexual addicts an addictive experience progresses through a four-step cycle that intensifies...[ read more ]
When working with a sex addict one of the first homework assignments I give is call “Five Commandments to Freedom.” This tool comes from 101 Freedom Exercises. It is a simple yet effective tool that helps the client maintain sobriety. Here is how it works. PRAY in the morning. This step is a simple acknowledgment of the sex addicts desperate...[ read more ]
Sexual addiction is a disease of the mind, body, and soul. If not dealt with quickly and directly it will have devastating consequences for the individual and those he or she loves. For the sex addict it is important to understand what type of sex addict they are because that will dictate what type of treatment is needed. In his...[ read more ]
Helen Keller was asked once “What would be worse than being born blind?” to which she replied “Having sight without a vision.” I find this to be one of the most profound statements I have ever heard because this little girl was born deaf, blind, and mentally challenged. Yet in spite of it all she was able to come to...[ read more ]
What if thinking often leads to catastrophizing. Once in the catastrophizing cycle it can be crippling and the anxiety that is felt from it can be unbearable. Thankfully, there are ways out of this cycle of thinking. One way is to turn the what ifs into even ifs. Let’s start by defining what each equal. What Ifs = A lack...[ read more ]
Have you ever wondered what really drives anxiety? The short and simple answer is fear. Fear is at the very heart of a person’s anxiety. Whether it is anxiety over public speaking or anxiety over just taking a walk outside. It is fear that drives anxiety. So, let’s define fear and anxiety so you can understand how they work together....[ read more ]
What if I told you your attitude towards anxiety often determines success or failure in overcoming anxiety. For lots of people their attitude towards anxiety is mostly negative because anxiety is uncomfortable. Our natural response is to fight it or do anything to get rid of it. But what if I told you that fighting your anxiety or doing anything...[ read more ]
In my last blog "Gardening and Marriage", I discussed how blossom end rot is a term that is not only used for gardening but can also be applied to many marriages. The main thrust in that blog was centered on the mistakes I unknowingly made as I planted my tomato plants, which, in the end, led to a slow death...[ read more ]