Over the past couple of days, I have been doing some reading on how to make a marriage last. As I read about ways to having a lasting marriage, I came across 5 key principles for a healthy marriage. All 5 principles are found in Ephesians 4 and here they are:
- Be Honest: Eph. 4:15, Eph. 4:25 (ESV) says, “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” It is important that we are open and honest with our spouses and as verse 15 tells us we are to speak the truth in love for another.
- Be Angry: Eph. 4:26, Eph. 4:27 (ESV) says, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” That is right. This verse just stated it is ok to be angry and it must been done in appropriate ways. If you are angry with your spouse deal with that anger appropriately. For instance, if you are angry with your spouse deal with that anger before you go to bed otherwise you will wake up angry. By waking up angry you have just allowed the devil a foothold on the start of your new day! Anger is ok to have but deal with it appropriately.
- Be Diligent: Eph. 4:28 (ESV) says, “Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.” This is simple enough, isn’t it? We need to work hard on our relationships. The more we work at something the more we get in return. Do you want a healthy marriage? Then be diligent in doing things that help your relationship to grow.
- Be Positive: Eph. 4:29-31 (ESV) says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” In other words, do not wound your spouse with your words! Words of negativity can bring a marriage to its foundation in a blink of an eye. Words of positivity can take a marriage to the highest of highs.
- Be Forgiving: Eph. 4:32 (ESV) says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” When it is appropriate to be the first to forgive then do so. Do not wait to see if your spouse is going to forgive you first. I would also suggest to you to be the first one to say “I’m sorry.” Forgiveness is a must for any marriage to survive.
So, there are the 5 key principles for a healthy marriage. If you are interested, I have more video blogs on youtube.
Written By:
Reid Wood, MA, LPC